If I'm going the speed limit and I'm in the right lane, you really shouldn't be zooming up on my ass.

God, yes. The world can accomodate both you and me. If you're a speed freak, don't get hot under the collar about what's happening on the right side of the freeway -- should you get to speed there, you're lucky, and don't scare the natives.

However, please leave the left lane, unless you intend to exceed.

I wonder why Lori was trying to kick on the Krav-ers?

Yeah, I wish I knew.

Okay, random thoughts about the finale. And since we are in the spoiler thread, if you don't want to be spoiled, back out now.

The finale opens with a kid who is shoplifting slinkies, by putting them down his pants. Jaye gets 10% of any shoplifting recovery she makes. She and the security guard are watching the kid and they go into the store to nab him. But some stuffy convinces her to let the kid go.

My reaction: dude, slinky down the pants. shudder.

t bad recapper

The gist is this:
Sharon comes over to get Jaye to help pick out an anniversary gift for their parent's 31st wedding anniversary. Jaye loses it and confesses that Eric is going away and she's heartbroken. She tells Jaye to call Eric and to talk to him. So Jaye does, and they plan an assignation at her trailer. This might be the first time that Jaye is actually going to talk about her feelings WITH Eric. But she doesn't make it.

Eric asks Mahandra to be nice to Heidi while he goes to meet Jaye.

Sharon is at the store when a bank robber comes in and takes them hostage. The guy is actually kinda menacing. So it's Jaye, Sharon, Mouthbreather, security guy (Wade?) with aspirations to overcome rent a cop status. Whackiness ensues.

My favorite scene? When Sharon stun guns the guy. Also my most frustrating scene because a barrel bear tells Jaye to "give him heart." Jaye tries to get security Wade(?) to get the gun that the bank robber drops.

My reaction: DAMN JAYE! Pick up the freakin' GUN. And Sharon, keep the stun gun on him.

Scary shit happens (including Wade having a heart attack and Sharon eventually stun gunning his heart back to life). The chameleon (and Tim's voice) tell her where there is an exit. Robber takes Jaye as hostage. They steal a van and as he reverses he hits.... wait for it.... Heidi. He gets out of the van and is standing at the Heidi's window (and Heidi PISSED at it being a Jaye-involved vehicle that hit her). You hear sirens and.... wait for it again.... just as Robber menaces a little more the ambulance RUNS HIS ASS OVER.

The Ambulance scene was completely shocking. It got such a response. Everytime we watched it. I think I'm a terrible person because it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh like a loon.

Tearful family reunion. Mahandra is freaking out about the thought of losing Jaye. Aaron makes her feel better with big PDA smoochies. Karen looks fine with it, but Jaye has a stunned look on her face. Then she notices Eric going to Heidi.

Fade to black.

and you think it's over, right?

Except it's not. One scene left. Eric comes back to the store to return souvenirs he bought. Since they aren't doing their job to remind him of a place where he isn't (which is a callback to a teaser scene). She gives him store credit. And he says something about a reason to come back.

And they kiss.

Happy endings for those of us sappy enough to need them.

Honestly, thank you... such a lovely wedding gifty.

Also, Mahandra's being nice to Heidi seems to result in Mahandra making some peace with her and Aaron, and when Heidi sees Eric on TV (he's the one that tipped the police to something suspicious happening at the store, because when he dropped by Jaye was very weird to him (you might want to block your ears for his sappiness here)) talking about the hostage-taking, she leaves the bar, mad. Intending to dump him, we later learn.

The implication (also sappily delivered) is that the tchotchkes are getting Jaye to push Eric away so that Heidi can be in the right place at the right time to hit the escape vehicle (and save Jaye's life). And that the whole thing makes Eric realise where he stands.

The tchotchkes didn't care about saving Jaye's life. If that were the case, the second the bad guy came into the store, they would've been singing out "call the police! 911!" Nope, they were more concerned with getting the bad guy smooshed so they could save the rent-a-cop's life. It was all about smooshing the bad guy.

See, it's that part that I am NOT down with.

The whole push him away to get him back.

Cmon, that's a lot of conspiring, even for a universe.

The ambulance scene? Really shocking. I mean not to those of you reading now that you're spoiled (oops sorry), but it was to me. It was the same level of shock as Mal kicking a henchman into an engine.

I dunno who wrote what, but that felt like a Tim kind of thing.

The whole push him away to get him back.

I thought it was a push away to get her life saved. And while they may have worked it out if she hadn't pushed him away (she did start that before the tchotchkes told her to), it's at least vindication that the critters didn't expressly want her crazy and alone into her old age.

It was all about smooshing the bad guy.

Which was fucking hysterical. Every time.

It's weird.

At this point, even though I love Jaye and I'm strongly ambivalent about Eric, they are both so dysfunctional and broken I'm GLAD they have each other to dysfunction and break with.

Which was fucking hysterical. Every time.

Yes. Must watch that scene again. And again. And again. Twice was definitely not enough. *g*