You're wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They didn't want her here, but she couldn't make herself leave. So she melted... Melted away. They didn't know she could do that, but she did.

River ,'Objects In Space'


LotR - The Two Towers: "Dude, Where's my Precious?"  

"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness... Hey, what the... Where'd it go? It was here a minute ago... Stupid hobbits..."

A discussion of Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers. If you're a pervy hobbit fancier, this is the place for you.