You're wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They didn't want her here, but she couldn't make herself leave. So she melted... Melted away. They didn't know she could do that, but she did.
River ,'Objects In Space'
The Quotable Firefly: Oh, my God, I am a hack...
[NAFDA] "Like more than one ex-nerd of my acquaintance, Whedon compulsively peppers his speech with self-deprecating asides: "Oh, my God, I am a hack," he moans as we watch Fillion, his thumbs hooked in the belt loops of his skintight slacks, swagger back onto the ship's bridge. But like his show's hero, Whedon exudes confidence."